Fish with people faces

I was out on a nice, Sunday walk with my wife and dog today, when we stumbled across a “little free library.”

Well … actually … this was probably the 5th or 6th little free library we “stumbled” across. My wife loves ‘em, and often, I find an interesting book that I can turn into a fun little email.

Enter Creepiosity: A Hilarious Guide to the UNINTENTIONALLY CREEPY, by David Bickel.

In the foreword, Bickel says this:

The American Heritage Dictionary describes creepiness as "Of or producing a sensation of uneasiness or fear: a creepy feeling; a creepy story."

It's the stuff of horror films. The house in the middle of the woods. The killer with the hockey mask. Even the sight of an empty playground. All designed to make us uncomfortable.

But what about all the unintentionally creepy things we come across that give us a similarly uneasy feeling? Miniature ponies. Canned deviled ham. The preschool that's really someone's house with a badly painted picture of Mickey Mouse on it.

That's what Creepiosity is all about.

I’ve been thumbing through the book since I sat down to write this email. There are many different directions I could go here.

Do I talk about the creepiness of Your Friend’s Grandma? (Not super creepy IMO.)

Or how about the atrocity of Sea Monkeys? (I had some as a kid, very creepy indeed.)

And what of Glinda the Good Witch (def creepy), Kids on Leashes (yikes), or Lifelike Baby Dolls (gadzooks!)?

No, no. None of this will do.

Because the most relevant thing I can find as I thumb through the book right now is Fish With People Faces.

Why relevant: Because with a few twist of phrase, Fish With People Faces becomes Copywriters Who Are Too Forward.

You’ve seen this yourself, almost certainly.

The problem ranges from ads that talk about “the sour smell of your toenail fungus” to retargeting campaigns that openly admit that “we’ve been watching you since you signed up for our list but didn’t buy and now you should really buy, buy please BUY!!!”

Nobody wants to think about the smell of their toenail fungus (even if they have it) and nobody wants to feel like they’re being stalked around the internet.

Lucky for you, there’s an easy way to make sure you’re never too forward in your ad copy:

Focus on the feeling behind the problem — not the problem itself.

Toenail fungus example: The embarrassment your reader must feel, living with toenail fungus … never certain if they can confidently wear sandals.

Retargeting campaign example: Missing out on an opportunity that’s going away for good, and if they don’t buy soon they may miss it.

Of course, this isn’t a 100%-of-the-time-if-David-said-it-I-must-use-it-rule.

But it may be a good guideline if you’re ever on the fence about how your copy might be perceived — either by a reader, or by your client or boss.

On that note, I have some more reading to do.

Until tomorrow.

— David